Unanswered Prayers
by ClaraNoblePond
Summary: I was only a child when my father was taken. Taken for what, you might ask? A higher purpose, some might say. Me, I think that he was taken for nothing at all. Nothing except the greed of an angel named Castiel. The story of Claire's unanswered prayers, told from both Claire and Castiel's POV in poetry and in prose. Enjoy!
1. Claire

**(And no, I do not own _Supernatural_, its storyline or its characters. Enjoy!)**

.

_Now I lay me down to sleep,_

_I pray you my father's soul to keep._

_If he die because of your grace,_

_Let me go to Heaven in his place._

_._

I was only a child when my father was taken. Taken for what, you might ask? A higher purpose, some might say. Me, I think that he was taken for nothing at all. Nothing except the greed of an angel named Castiel.

.

_Bring him back, and bring him whole,_

_With his body, mind and soul._

_I pray that you will treat him well,_

_That you can hear what I do tell._

.

Yes, angels have greed. And the coldest hearts I've ever seen. Of course, I've only had to suffer an encounter with one angel. But like sibling like sibling, they say.

.

_Stay out of trouble, for his sake._

_My love for him is far from fake._

_Oh please, oh please, I need him so,_

_Can you bring him back before I go?_

.

And yet, despite Castiel's coldness, I somehow believed in my childish brain that he might answer if I asked him to bring my father back. So what did I do?

.

_I know you need him for your cause,_

_But I think on him without pause._

_Without him all is dark and gray,_

_And my loneliness won't go away._

.

I prayed. And prayed. And prayed. Every night, every morning, every time I had a second to myself, I would pray to the angel Castiel to take care of my father and bring him home. Bring him home to me, his daughter, his only child, the only person who had never judged him and never would, who would always love him, no matter what. And what did I get in return?

.

_You can't understand my pain,_

_Don't see my loss, only your gain._

_Oh angel, hear me up on high,_

_I shout so loud I know I reach the sky._

.

Nothing. Not a single response. So I stopped praying altogether. Started turning against God as much as I could, even tried to summon a demon once just to see if _that_ would get Castiel's attention. But you know why I didn't? Because deep down, in a very small part of me, I still had hope.

.

_My mother's fading, so am I,_

_It's all I can do not to cry._

_My father helped you, didn't he?_

_So why can't you a fair angel be?_

.

So I prayed one last time.

.

_Oh, bring him home and bring him all,_

_Please at least answer my last call._

_Or if you're determined, walk away,_

_And face your crime some other day._

.

Bastard.


	2. Castiel

_._

And_ so ends another day,_

_Yet begins when I hear you pray._

_Asking for things I cannot give,_

_Wanting your father to happily live._

.

She was only a child when I took her father, when I ripped him away from her innocent arms. Only a small, fragile thing when I left her with one less parent, one less friend, one less hope.

.

_He's dead now, child, dead and gone,_

_Now in Heaven will he see the dawn._

_I'm sorry that I've hurt you so,_

_But you cannot in his own place go._

.

Even though I didn't feel it then, I feel terrible now. The truth of what I did weighs heavily on my judgement. I have lived without a father my whole life - but humans seem to need theirs so much. I should've thought of that.

.

_I wish that you could see him again -_

_You will, in truth, but only in the end._

_I grieve with all my heart can hold,_

_No matter how seemingly small or cold._

.

But no matter how much I repent to Heaven, to Father, if he can hear me, her prayers keep coming up day in and day out, and I cannot block them. They fill my ears and bring tears to my eyes as I realize I can do nothing, nothing at all.

.

_I used to hear him, time and time,_

_Whenever I had the roughest climb._

_He was always mad, but he understood,_

_Knew I did the things that I should._

.

How could I ever justify what I've done? How could I ever begin to say how sorry, how deeply, horrifyingly, _humanly_ sorry I am for what I did to her mother, her father - to her?

.

_But that doesn't mean it was right,_

_And your anger I'm not going to fight._

_Jimmy was noble, and he was brave;_

_And he was the one I didn't save._

.

Jimmy Novak deserved much better than he received. He deserved the life of a normal human, a life where he took Claire to school and had the love of his wife and prayed over dinner each evening. A life where he never had to see the disappointing reality of what Heaven really is, what the angels really are - a failure.

.

_Can't you see I don't answer you?_

_If I did, what would I do?_

_Say I'm sorry that your father died,_

_How I've felt guilty every time you've cried?_

.

And his daughter? She deserved a normal life more than anyone else. And here she is, praying to a failure who's too much of a coward to even reply to those he's damned and left for dead.

.

_But no, your words are fading fast,_

_Soon to be left in the past._

_But I will never forget you, Claire._

_And I will never cease to care._

.

Oh, what an angel am I!


End file.
